The World I Live In
by The Feisty Rogue
Summary: Tony wakes within the soul dream and sets out to find his soulmate.


_Soulmate!AU - At a certain age you meet your soulmate in another world and when you wake your memories of this world are foggy_

 _For Bex, who may wish she hadn't asked me to write this._

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 **The World I Live In**

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Tony wakes to world that's foggy; endless grey stretching as far as the eye can see. In the distance, in one direction, it looks as if light is trying to break through the cloud. In the opposite direction the horizon begins to darken like the sky at twilight.

Tilting his head to the side, Tony narrows his eyes. Moments later, a tree sprouts from the soil rich with nutrients that hadn't been there a heartbeat ago. Excellent. He's in the Soul World; the land in which he'll meet his soulmate. Together, they'll live here as long as they like, until the call of reality grows to be too great and they return to their 'true' lives, searching for one another in reality.

With a faint smile upon his lips, Tony walks toward the light. His thirtieth birthday is soon approaching; what better time than any to meet his soulmate? He's got the resources to look for them, no matter how much or how little of the Soul World that he remembers.

He walks and walks, time passing without seeming to have passed at all. He's not hungry, he doesn't thirst. All he wants is to find his soulmate.

There, in the distance, is a man ambling in Tony's direction. He's wearing a strange variation upon the army's uniform and looks as if he might be too good to be true, with blue eyes and dark hair that fit a gorgeous face.

"Well, hello handsome," the man says. "Aren't you all dolled up and just a real good sight for sore eyes?"

Tony grins, glancing down at himself briefly. He's in a dinner suit and he's not surprised; he's spent most of his adult life in a suit for one event or another.

"Only for my soulmate," Tony says and winks.

The man chuckles. "James Barnes, it's a pleasure."

"Tony Stark," Tony replies, waiting for the expected recognition of his name. It's not forthcoming. Instead, James smiles and immediately sweeps him into a hug.

"This is a nice reprieve from the front," James says. His brow furrows as he pulls back and a grassy park appears around them, formed from his imagination. In fact, it looks like Central Park, or how it had looked fifty odd years ago.

Something heavy lodges itself at the bottom of Tony's stomach. "The front?" he asks, trying his best to keep his voice flat, uninterested. With a gesture, an apple tree grows, giving them some shade and they both settle beneath it.

"Of the war?" James says, sounding uncertain, like he doesn't know why this is something he needs to clarify.

"Of course," Tony says, while the worlds ' _the war'_ echo around his skull. It doesn't take a fucking genius to put it together; his soulmate is from the past. World War Two, judging by the colours on his uniform.

It breaks his heart just a little, but he's not going to tell James. He'd not going to say a thing. When they wake up, what difference will it make? Tony will still be stuck in the future, alone, looking for a man he might not remember, one that at best will have aged gracefully into his nineties, and at worst, died a horrible death fighting for his country.

"I can't enlist," Tony says, forestalling the inevitable question. "Bum heart."

James nods like he understands. "Yeah, got a pal who was just like that." He grins suddenly. "Got himself a doc that fixed him right up, like a whole other man, he was. When we wake, I'll see if I can get him to help you too."

"That would be nice," Tony says and it's the first lie he tells to James, but not the last. He reaches out and links their fingers together, squeezing tight.

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Tony doesn't know how long they've been here - time doesn't follow linear perception, in the Soul World. All he knows is that they've built cities together, grown forests, climbed the mountains of their subconcious. He knows he'll never be able to forget James - not the truth of him, the kind, funny, patient man who was born into the wrong century.

When they wake from this dream, they'll both still be thirty, both still be exactly where they'd gone to sleep so very long ago. It's impossible to predict if they'll remember anything of their time together, the scientists studying it in the 21st Century still as pathetically ignorant as ever.

They will wake soon, this Tony knows. Often, they lie together beneath that very same apple tree, staring up at the dappled leaves. But Tony catches James looking toward the darkness in the distance more and more frequently, the darkness Tony has tried to ignore with all his might, for he knows that it will lead toward the end of their stay together.

Eventually, he can't stand the pain and guilt that he sees in James's eyes. Tony's not got a life he's compelled to return to, but James does.

"It's okay," Tony says. "It's okay if you need to get back to reality. I understand."

Despite the time - years or decades or centuries - spent together, neither had talked much about their true lives. To Tony, at least, reality seemed a distant dream another man had lived.

"I love you," Tony says and James echoes the words back at him before glancing toward the darkness once more.

"My friend, Stevie, I have to get back to him," James says, his gaze full of sorrow. "But when I do, I'll find you, Tony, I promise I will."

"But you have to go," Tony finishes. "I'll come with you. We'll do it together?"

A faint smile crosses James's face. "Together."

Tony brushes the dirt from his jeans and takes James's hand. Their grip is tight as they walk toward a slowly darkening horizon. Tony's heart is pounding in his chest the closer they draw and he realises it's the most alive he's felt in a very long while.

Doubt suddenly strikes him mute. All this time, all the words they've exchanged, all the love they've given, and yet, Tony's kept an essential part of himself from James, hidden the dreadful truth. There's nothing he can do - it's too late, he already feels himself losing the dream.

"James," he gasps and meets the other man's gaze. "We win. The world I live in - we've already won."

Bewilderment turns to awe on James' face and a tear trickles down his face.

"Oh, Tony, I love you," James says, even as he begins to fade.

"I'll find you," Tony promises in return and the world around them shatters into a light so bright he's blinded.

He gasps awake to an empty room. It takes him a moment to wonder why that's so unfamiliar.

"Good morning, sir. It is 9.03 AM on Saturday the 21st…" JARVIS begins and Tony tunes him out.

He's just had his soul dream and all he can remember is a sense of peace and a single, precious name. It's the name of a man he lived entire lifetimes with, someone he wants by his side for the rest of the life he's living now.

The man's name is James, and Tony is going to find him, no matter what it takes.

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 _Word Count: 1214_

 _Romance Awareness Day 14 - At a certain age you meet your soulmate in another world and when you wake your memories of this world are foggy_


End file.
